on self pity
maybe try give yourself reason
you might not be the only one, but youre the one that gets to see them saturday and sunday morning, even if after that you have to rush home with your clothes in a bag dragging you towards the ground.
you might not be their favorite one, but you’re the one they call when they need someone, even if you’re the last number they dial you’re still on the contact list.
On being a loner/ on being alone.
I had a really big issue with being alone when I was young. I used to hang out with anyone just so I could make some friends. I didn’t care who they were or what they did. I’d go out at ridiculous times of day and night to take part in activities I had no interest in and most of them were degrading my development as a child. When I was thirteen I realized that that’s the way my life will be. I took a book and went to my town’s Starbucks and sat down and read for two hours all by myself. When I left I was different. I no longer was afraid because I had books and I had my own company. I might have not liked it, but I wasn’t scared to be by myself now.
I think everyone should force themselves to do this. It’s a process of loving yourself, i think.
Realizing the longest friendship I have is with Carmen, Vanilla and my grandmother makes me appreciate and realize why I am how I am. I can admit that I’ve probably learnt everything I know about sincerity and devotion from these creatures. Unconditional love is a blessing, not a curse.
Photos from a long weekend:
We had no school on Thursday, Friday and Monday. We celebrated Nick’s birthday on friday and I ate ice-cream and got sick. But I got to wear my silver heels out and chat to Eleni in a new bar that opened in town. It’s called Alchemies, and was a pleasant place to spend the night in, the coctails are served in little lab glasses. On Sunday there was a sand-storm and the city looked like it was covered in thick white mist, as if someone had hair-sprayed the sun. The saltlake had no horizon and the flamingoes turned into white stagnant specks. On Monday, i watched Anchorman 2, which was worse tha the first half of 1 (I fell asleep half way) and then made tea and watched the stars.